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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I am but Dust.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joachim
    ASL Info:    75 Male RSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 361/264/178
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 899



    Description:
       I have rewritten this poem "Dust" to hopefully fall in more favour from my beloved critics.

    joachim


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am but Dust.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the most hidden spaces of my memory
    Dust devils scatter small echoes of my Memories
    across the Walls of Yesteryear.
    Shimmering on the Midnight horizons of my Mind.

    Playful eddies of dust like an innocent child,
    Impishly scurrying across my most sacred memories
    unearthed from hiding places embedded
    in aeons of drifting sands covered by
    ancient mysteries from the fabrics of my universe

    Sculpturing with tiny swirls of dust
    visions from the ethereal deserts of my life
    Shaping realities from the traces of long lost civilisations
    covered by the soft drifting sands of my imagination
    shaped by memories long gone:

    I am an Oasis of Life,
    Shaped by memories,
    Written in the dust of yesteryear.

    I am but Dust.







    Submitted on 2011-09-23 13:57:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this has such heart and soul

    really like the last stanza very much...

    did you mean "i am an oasis"?

    but yes nice analogy to the desert, the sands of life, the hour glass idea..we are an eternity..some here some there...

    and we are dust...before and after...

    i am always so happy to read "your" words...we don't get those enough from you....

    i like your poems...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Also, this made me think of a passage in the bible, Genesis 18:27:

    And Abraham answering said, Truly, I who am only dust, have undertaken to put my thoughts before the Lord.

    Some interpretations of this call it the first prayer.

    Could it be that your words are a prayer of sorts?
    | Posted on 2011-09-23 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      I find light in this, and darkness. I also see all of creation. Being both oasis and dust. . .

    life and death, everything and nothing. . .

    Do not give up writing in English. Many of us who speak no other language struggle much more than you! Also, I think sometimes those who are newer to our language can see things in it that we do not. Perhaps we're jaded by our own understanding. And please do not leave ES.

    Your insight is unique. Your words are earnest. What more is there than that for a poet and his poetry?

    Jane
    | Posted on 2011-09-23 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


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