Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shadow and Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gwenn sundala
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 76/70/51
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Death
    Total Views: 743
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 522



    Description:
       This was posted on my first eliteskills account, Elibeth Gensch. It is the first song I ever wrote, shortly after my grandma died in 2004. At some point I may touch it up and add some verses, I don't know. We'll see....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShadow and Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pain. Who likes Pain? Who likes Suffering?
    See? Don't you see what I'm going through?
    The Shadow's closing in!
    It seems that I can't swim out of it.
    So what's now left to do?

    I'll follow you through Shadow and Death.
    When I can't see my way through,
    Oh, I'll follow you.
    I'll follow you, you pull me through.
    You lead me through the darkness.
    Oh, I'll follow you.
    I'll follow you...




    Submitted on 2011-09-23 16:33:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Stunning...
    | Posted on 2013-09-28 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      I know what it's like....
    | Posted on 2013-02-28 00:00:00 | by EragonaElven | [ Reply to This ]
      I would love to hear the vocal interactions with the words.

    They are very direct and full of emotion, given the context of the piece.

    Not much to say about something like that.
    | Posted on 2011-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This is heart wrenching ... and so true ... it is so difficult to let go

    Liked it very much

    AbsolutelyLost
    | Posted on 2011-09-25 00:00:00 | by AbsolutelyLost | [ Reply to This ]
      If you write more verses and I hope you post them.

    My Dad died 2001 and I wrote poems as a way to cope. The line "I'll follow you" conjures feelings of profound grief...the kind that makes a person forget where s/he is and why s/he lives. My Dad made me promise to continue on my path after he crossed over...he made us all promise...and pretty much said he would haunt us if we didn't....It helped because we could honor his memory by living...not that it was easy, even after all these years.

    Some questions regarding additions you might make to this piece: .Where do you want to take your listener/reader....or is more you wish to continue processing feelings about the loss of your grandmother? Either way, I hope you will share it with us.

    Peace and Namaste,
    | Posted on 2011-09-25 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192651

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Push written by JanePlane
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry