Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Piper's Playdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 325
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Piper's Playdots
    -------------------------------------------





    I paid the piper now he plays
    while the ghostly city burns today.
    I sit alone a ringside seat
    sipping on my whiskey,
    served neat.

    The dead sing along
    with grim esprit
    de corps
    It seems they still got
    what it takes to make
    the welkin ring,
    the meter roar and
    turn
    the sea to steam.

    I was long on the downward glide.
    I endured and often enjoyed the ride.
    I paid the piper and he played
    and the ghostly city burned.





    Submitted on 2011-09-24 03:16:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Would that be Scotch or Irish whiskey per chance? If so the piper is playing bagpipes which is quite appropriate for such an ultimate final scene. I love your use of "make the welkin ring" flavoring this with the archaic or should I say classic. Much to think about with "ghostly city" on the personal side. The muse is once again working overtime.
    | Posted on 2011-09-24 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192660

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Linger written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Incubus written by monad
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry