The brave little sperm cell lay there
and a pathetic little thing
pondering his brief uneventful existence,
Delirium was setting in.
"I thought I could, I thought I could...
I dont want to anymore. Life just means more death"
When all of a sudden,
the cervical lining was awash with the most
A shimmering figure appeared before
the brave little sperm cell.
Why, It was mother nature!
Come to see what the matter was.
"Dear and brave little sperm cell, why do you despair so?
Can you not see you have travelled further and farther than the rest?
You are the sole survivor, and I designed you to do just that." she said.
"Oh sweet mother nature, why did you design me this way?
There is no point to existence at all,
life is just a sexually transmitted terminal disease!!!" the sperm spat at her
"You made us special, you gave us this power to hurt each other! And worse we have hurt you."
"Hurt me?" she gently inquired.
"Yes, hurt you, by killing and dispensing pain,
destroying each other and the world!
That is why I despair..." the sperm cell sobbed.
"Hush now little one" Mother Nature said, cradling the tadpole.
"You can never hurt me. You humans are very self-centered creatures,
and I made you exactly that way, exactly as you are. I am wiser and will still be here
even longer after the last human has died. You are not the first creatures of the earth
and you certainly wont be the last. This, I promise you.
You are special because you are intelligent, but for that you cannot see the miracle
that is your life dear and special little sperm cell."
"Why yes, you have survived this catastrophe but you have also survived countless wars and battles,
from previous versions of utesticle-opia.
The probability of you surviving now is so great, it is like watching oxygen turn into gold.
Now even I cannot do that." she smiled at the tadpole.
"But why did I survive mother nature? Why not any one of the others who were better than me at everything?"
"Because you thought you could.
Now, what will you do?" she said.
"I'm going to zion bitch!!!"
And with that, the brave little sperm cell wriggled and swam faster and harder
and by a miracle, achieved his life.