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    dots Submission Name: Nothing left but a gazedots

    Author: xxalpal4everzxx
    ASL Info:    13/F/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 10/26/19
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 452
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1123


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing left but a gazedots

    She sits in a chair and reads the article,
    The way his grey eyes use to sparkle,
    The way her heartbeat pounded,
    Just like the day their love was founded,

    She sat by the bay and watched the fish swim,
    That was the day she first discovered him,
    Strutting by in his button down shirt,
    He sat next to her and they started to flirt,
    From that day on they kept falling into love,
    Until the day his spirit flew up above,

    She went back to the day they got married,
    She felt like this memory was getting buried,
    Under years and years of other thoughts,
    It was like when she went back she saw spots,
    It was very unclear but she kept looking back,
    Oh, she remembered about thinking she was fat,
    Her fiancÚ held her hand and looked into her eyes,
    He looked at her and kissed her to empathize,
    He said I love you and I will forever and always,
    Then she left that memory with nothing left but his gaze,

    Submitted on 2011-09-25 20:22:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Bro , Sis nice work on the poem and i will give it a rate of 4 but i think that it deserves a rate of 3 because the rhyme didn't really match a couple of times.
    I recommend a bit more English practice would be quite useful.

    PS please don't take my criticism as me hating your poem
    +More criticism = More hard work!
    | Posted on 2011-09-27 00:00:00 | by alisaifb | [ Reply to This ]

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