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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Indebteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 361
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 469



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIndebteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I could pay you what I owe in sand dollars
    you could bleach them in the sun
    and crack them open
    dump out the angels inside

    stick their false wings down
    with crafter's glue
    paint around them
    write about their legend

    In the end the sea creatures will be
    Dead
    And no magic will come from it
    And no god.

    But finally I'd owe you nothing more.




    Submitted on 2011-09-30 16:14:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      To me this about value. The play-on of sand dollars, not real money...so what is the value? Well there's value in the creator/ the magic of the thing. Crack it open...no magic; no god. And now I owe you nothing.

    What is the value of a green piece of paper? Well, it's a dollar...we give it value. Crack it open, see what's inside. Nothing. No magic. I owe you a thousand of those? I owe you nothing.

    I very much liked this

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-10-03 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is superb! It's creative, real, and nice and short. This is by far one of my new favorite poems of all time!It's so bitter, and keeps the same theme throught the poem. This is very well written and I loved it! Thank you for submitting this!!!! BIG FAN!!!
    -Alex
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by xxalpal4everzxx | [ Reply to This ]
      This has definite darkness surrounding it.
    From the inclusion of "no magic will come from it and no god" this poem will certainly split the audience in to those who believe and those who do not. People with a devout belief in a 'god' may dislike this piece, because it illustrates the 'no life after death' theory.
    Personally, I found it a little difficult to digest, and thats from an athiest point of view...BUT after a few re-reads, I did grow to like this piece. It's good to see someone who feels they can write poety like this that doesn't technically flow very well, but does create very poignant images.

    Thanks for contributing
    master_raz
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      oooh i see a bit of bitterness on the part of the speaker....

    i owe you for something i am not happy i got from you....you are shallow, vain and not really a very good artist....

    that seems evident by the lines dealing with "no magic will come from it/ and no god."

    and the super glue is interesting...like we patched our relationship...but now i feel stuck owing you something..

    sort of like duct tape...temporary fix...in the end, there is nothing to save.

    really like this poem, jane.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      

    I don't know what this one is about but
    it rocks!

    I personally would rather be paid
    in beach agates. They may not
    be full of angels but they do polish
    up nice.
    Moreover no sea creatures would
    be harmed clearing your indebtedness.

    However the magical tone
    you have achieved here can
    not be counted benign.

    For I would imagine that if
    you owe nothing more?
    Still you owe nothing less.

    | Posted on 2011-09-30 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


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