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    dots Submission Name: Melancholiadots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The horror of this earthly show.
    To live beside the deep-divide
    where every star in space
    before its time.

    Here whine the tines
    of lives
    in staggered rows.

    White crosses and
    albatrosses where planted
    dreams will never grow.

    Submitted on 2011-09-30 19:04:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think I kind of hoped it was
    a terminus where no flies buzz
    and dreams laugh at what death implies
    as pools of quivering dust arise
    | Posted on 2011-10-03 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Very abstract. I like that.

    This piece reads very well, except for the third line of the first stanza.
    Doesn't seem to fit rhythmically.

    Good write.

    | Posted on 2011-09-30 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

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