[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Grace will falldots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 366
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 908


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrace will falldots

    There is a serenade of purest
    fire sequestered in the lair
    of broken dreams.

    A vixen whose siren song
    is plaintive
    and asks only to be

    If I held the key
    I would release her to fly.

    Like space junk she would
    through the heavens.

    Such intransigent wonder
    as should always
    have a chance to
    grace the evening sky

    I long to be part
    of her tale
    heartfelt and true.

    I want to feel her heat
    as she flames to die.
    To be enchanted
    by the searing incandescence
    of her hair

    To taste
    the essence of
    smoke warm petals
    glowing red .

    Would be a dream
    like a feathered pillow
    where I could
    my head.

    Submitted on 2011-09-30 20:32:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      If I held the key
    I would release her to fly...

    I long to be part
    Of her tale
    Heartfelt and true...

    I absolutely love these lines...

    I like the vision this gives of a woman being the purest fire and the longing to feel the flames. It always seems to boil down to this : ones a moth, the other a flame. Rarely does the flame gets hurt by the moth.
    | Posted on 2012-09-03 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a serenade of purest
    fire sequestered in the lair
    of broken dreams.

    if only if only if only

    Would be a dream
    like a feathered pillow
    where I could
    my head.

    The beginning and the ending are the most difficult to penetrate.

    I'm left wondering what you mean by broken dreams. Dreams that end because you wake too soon?

    So my interpretation of this would be:

    N is burning to be free to escape into the grace of dreaming.

    I really like this one. ~C

    | Posted on 2011-10-13 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      Say it, "I am the key master!". Yes, an excellent poem.
    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting write!

    Grace will fall.

    Grace is a vixen, a siren, but she's begging to be freed. Still, if she were let go, she'd be "like space junk burning through the heavens".

    To me that makes grace into rubbish.

    But which Grace is it? Is this grace as in beauty? Grace as in living in the favor of God? Is Grace a person? A prayer? A mercy??

    I love that I don't know for sure! That it could be all of those things or that I still don't "get it".

    The only part that put me off was the part at the end about the speaker setting his head on fire. Is that in some sort of sacrifice to grace? Or in spite of grace??? Still, it is a strong image and goes along with the idea that the destruction of grace is beautiful to the speaker.

    Quite illuminating. . . even if I am still left in the dark.

    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was an excellent poem! Everything really flowed and the emotion of longing really stood out here. Keep writing!!!
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by xxalpal4everzxx | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bond written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]