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    dots Submission Name: Grace will falldots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 356
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 908


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrace will falldots

    There is a serenade of purest
    fire sequestered in the lair
    of broken dreams.

    A vixen whose siren song
    is plaintive
    and asks only to be

    If I held the key
    I would release her to fly.

    Like space junk she would
    through the heavens.

    Such intransigent wonder
    as should always
    have a chance to
    grace the evening sky

    I long to be part
    of her tale
    heartfelt and true.

    I want to feel her heat
    as she flames to die.
    To be enchanted
    by the searing incandescence
    of her hair

    To taste
    the essence of
    smoke warm petals
    glowing red .

    Would be a dream
    like a feathered pillow
    where I could
    my head.

    Submitted on 2011-09-30 20:32:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      If I held the key
    I would release her to fly...

    I long to be part
    Of her tale
    Heartfelt and true...

    I absolutely love these lines...

    I like the vision this gives of a woman being the purest fire and the longing to feel the flames. It always seems to boil down to this : ones a moth, the other a flame. Rarely does the flame gets hurt by the moth.
    | Posted on 2012-09-03 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a serenade of purest
    fire sequestered in the lair
    of broken dreams.

    if only if only if only

    Would be a dream
    like a feathered pillow
    where I could
    my head.

    The beginning and the ending are the most difficult to penetrate.

    I'm left wondering what you mean by broken dreams. Dreams that end because you wake too soon?

    So my interpretation of this would be:

    N is burning to be free to escape into the grace of dreaming.

    I really like this one. ~C

    | Posted on 2011-10-13 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      Say it, "I am the key master!". Yes, an excellent poem.
    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting write!

    Grace will fall.

    Grace is a vixen, a siren, but she's begging to be freed. Still, if she were let go, she'd be "like space junk burning through the heavens".

    To me that makes grace into rubbish.

    But which Grace is it? Is this grace as in beauty? Grace as in living in the favor of God? Is Grace a person? A prayer? A mercy??

    I love that I don't know for sure! That it could be all of those things or that I still don't "get it".

    The only part that put me off was the part at the end about the speaker setting his head on fire. Is that in some sort of sacrifice to grace? Or in spite of grace??? Still, it is a strong image and goes along with the idea that the destruction of grace is beautiful to the speaker.

    Quite illuminating. . . even if I am still left in the dark.

    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was an excellent poem! Everything really flowed and the emotion of longing really stood out here. Keep writing!!!
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by xxalpal4everzxx | [ Reply to This ]

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