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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Who's the Mothdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.82 - 23/159/137
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 651
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1168



    Description:
       This caterpillar had some incentive. Took a risk and a lot of patience.


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    dotsWho's the Mothdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel like chasing butterflies
    Already have my sights on one
    Get as close as I can
    To where you might land and...
    Now what?

    I can't spread the wings I don't have
    You flutter from one spot to the next
    Always within my view
    (All the while, eyes on you)
    As you dance with suitors of your kind.

    Hard as I try, I can't keep up
    Fourteen legs is not enough
    I would gladly trade in half to
    Share that very sky with you
    So I curl up in a ball and pray

    And then I wait and I wait
    And I hope you're still there
    My mind's sour debate
    Keeps sneaking in
    Sure hope I'm not a moth

    And day by night by today's light
    Sure enough, the air is sweet
    I finally leap into flight
    But no mirrors here to see
    Nor my beauty to be

    I stretch my wings on mission
    I pass many but not you
    So I fly and fly and keep searching
    And after so long, I've found you now
    So now please tell me
    What have I come to be?




    Submitted on 2011-10-01 22:06:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very personal feeling, as though we are there. Quite nice effect, thanks.
    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      this reminds me of my crush in grade school...

    i adored her at a distance..but felt like the slow dumb caterpillar...she never noticed me...or so i figured..and when i finally became the butterfly...i looked for her...but unfortunately she was long gone...and then i realized...i wasn't the butterfly i thought i was...i was more like the annoying moth...

    i like the way you constructed the story in this poem...nicely done.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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