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    dots Submission Name: Blossomdots

    Author: AshleyDYoung
    ASL Info:    19/F/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 28/33/34
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 391
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 382


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    When I was a child my grandmother would say
    "Ashley one day you will be a beautiful rose"
    and as i grew i blossomed and could hardly
    keep the bees away; but as i grew more i began to wilt until no one visited. Now since i have met you, i blossom once more, and you keep my bees away.

    I love you Jerry Lee Young

    Submitted on 2011-10-02 09:03:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      nice, but really needs to be reworked to be more universal so others can relate...a bit too personal to allow that.

    i think leaving out your name, and leaving out the last line...could help go in that direction.

    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this metaphor. Very smooth transition from blossomed, to wilted, to "blossomed once more". Very nice.

    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I dunno, this one is kinda "too" personal. Maybe you should expand it a bit, try to add more, if you can...
    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice and very personal. I'm sure Jerry appreciates it and will remember it as a special item.
    | Posted on 2011-10-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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