Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poetry is my Mistressdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 554
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 282
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3534



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoetry is my Mistressdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As the sun rises,
    Poetry coos in my ear,
    brushes her hand across my cheek,
    whispers of passion and secrets and yearning . . .
    when I pull myself from her sheets I'm giddy.

    The tension rises when I head for the door.
    She reminds me this isn't my first
    go 'round with Novel,
    "A sequel? Honestly! Do you really think you can
    fix what you broke the first time around?'
    Her lip curls at the thought of it!
    I feel weak, ashamed.

    "Don't go!" she says, as she reveals her
    nakedness from beneath layers of meaning.

    I linger awhile longer. My lips wet against the
    aubade of her.
    We move in perfect rhythm, she keeps time with
    her fingers.

    But later, when I'm faced with what I've done
    with Poetry, I squirm in my skin.

    Novel sits at my desk and pouts,
    "Characters have died, the plot is
    unresolved! You can't just leave me
    hanging like this!
    Think of the children!"

    I try and explain, "You just don't get it,
    I've known Poetry since high school!
    I can't just walk away!
    She knows everything about me,
    and she keeps it to herself!
    I trust Poetry!
    How do I know I can trust you?"

    Novel shrugs, "You don't, but you made a
    commitment!
    Besides what has Poetry ever given you?
    Can she help you pay the bills?
    Has she ever even given you a straight answer about anything?
    It's her or me, you decide!"

    But to leave Poetry now. . .
    abandon her in the squalor and solitude
    of that dumpy place on the east side. . .
    When she offers me promises of ecstasy,
    Gets me high on verse! Straddles me
    with enjambment!

    I'm desperate!
    Poetry is the only one who really understands me!
    The only one who really listens. . .

    Still, Novel just won't let me go.
    I owe her. She was there when I
    really needed her and now she's got this narrative
    going in her head about acceptable resolutions.

    She insists. . .
    "There's something more substantial here
    than what you have with Poetry
    a consistency, something you can really count on."

    I just wish I could be myself with Novel.
    That I didn't just have to stick to the same story.
    Sometimes I'm not that clear about what I
    even want to say.

    Still, I have to try, don't I?
    Novel is willing to make it work.
    And maybe in time I'll finally be able to
    open up with her.

    Besides, I can always find Poetry again someday, right?
    Maybe when we're old
    Novel will reach some epiphany about not needing me
    to reach the climax she's on that constant quest to find
    and things will end amicably.

    Then Poetry and I can hook up on the internet,
    Maybe trade imagery, giggle haiku
    Text onomatopoeia . . .


    Oh who am I kidding?
    I'll never leave Poetry, she'll be my mistress
    for as long as I can keep her.
    Don't get me wrong, I love Novel
    but Poetry makes me feel alive!




    Submitted on 2011-10-03 05:30:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Most amusing and inventive. Yes, Jacob does do that kind of thing a bit, writing about elements into the poetry. Yours is very well done.
    | Posted on 2011-12-03 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i revisited this piece...really like the concept...writing about writing...a topic i often touch upon myself...i guess only writers really understand that mistress...others are jealous of her...or him...but we cannot help the affair..nor do we really want to...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Everyone loves Poetry :) (in a metaphor sense) I like this very much. It seems as if Novel is less passive than Poetry. You have those that make you come out of yourself, they know your weakness and strength. Knows how to make you laugh at the right moment. And always have the right words to say. While others don't seem to add up to that though they give something that the other don't give... (hopefully that makes sense) (and passive probably isn't the right word lol)

    -Just thoughts-

    Wonderfully penned~

    Althea*
    | Posted on 2011-10-03 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great! I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny, but I thought it was. It's not only creative but well delivered. I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions to make it better...nice work!
    | Posted on 2011-10-03 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]
      i relate to this....tried 4 novels got as far as 60 pages, 40 pages, 60 pages and 40 pages...maybe a pattern there?

    kept losing interest...short attention span...the novels begged to be finished...but i said "i have barely started you, so shut up!"
    the poetry muse is more natural a friend to me...always been there...and very close to me for the last 40 some years.

    i like what you did with this...."aubade" is a nice word but it jams up the flow here and feels like it was put in to astonish the reader with vocabulary---like a misfit..

    "enjambment" a little bit too..

    but love the idea of "do you really feel you can fix what you broke the first time around?"

    hook up on the internet? and then meet and date? lol

    ironic---

    i think we end up writing that which comes most naturally to us...

    good piece

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192795

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry