Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Battlesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 437
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 433



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBattlesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have become a warrior,
    orchestrating the lights and the magnitudes of gentle breezes
    With my smile I can spear any double headed dragon
    or bloody eyed demon
    raging against forces and principles that reside in the dark, cowards that will not show their true faces, ashamed of how ugly and thick they might be
    But I would carry even those upon my shoulders, the monsters, created by my very disdain




    Submitted on 2011-10-04 08:30:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I quite like this. the fine line of becoming what we loathe. the disarming of our adversaries by our wits/charms...the sincerity of our smiles....their intentions. nice.
    | Posted on 2011-10-22 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very evocative. So many interesting elements! A smile can slay demons yet rage and disdain can create them as well. Perhaps this is battle with one's own demons and the courageous warrior assumes the burden.

    Great write!!

    Steve

    | Posted on 2011-10-13 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is well done. I enjoyed it a lot. Words like "very" are pretty much dead weight in poetry, so you might want to omit that. Here in the UK, thick also means stupid, and while I'm not sure that's what you had in mind when you wrote it, it is quite an effective image. (Well, some faces do look stupid). I think I'd hyphenate double-headed too.

    Good job,
    Amy

    | Posted on 2011-10-10 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this:

    "With my smile I can spear any double headed dragon
    or bloody eyed demon"

    I love the idea and the promise that a smile; a winning attitude, is all powerful and can conquer bad things!!

    Delightful!
    | Posted on 2011-10-08 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Happy day girl!

    I love this piece because it shows the dualITy we encounter and feel here and overcome...

    Thanks with Love & Smiles 2 Share ;-) ;-) ;-)
    | Posted on 2011-10-04 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192805

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    untitled written by ShyOne
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    AI written by poetotoe
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    descent written by TheBadSadMan

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry