Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Race Out of Hidingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 240
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 401
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1895



    Description:
       its all coming to ahead... i'm not sure i can handle this!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRace Out of Hidingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These demons of mine are racing one another out of my now unlocked closet full of misery and regrets

    Secrets not many could fathom let alone live with
    Abuse that keeps replaying making the memories all that much more seared into this young mind

    The darkness you all have so willingly given me consumes me!
    I have held back the tears, kept my fears close to my chest
    Even became a drug addict to cope with such misery
    Please for the love of god have mercy on me!
    Pleading for my life!

    I forever live with the reminders of nights I so long to erase from my broken mind
    I have the scars to show you just how real and how deep my pain runs!
    The self-inflicting 12 gauge shot gun scars still remain
    Each morning I am to have a reminder of that almost fateful night
    Into each evening the reoccurring back pain has left its message... it wonít be going anywhere anytime soon
    So you see this pain ... these black clouds ... and my skeletons all racing to show themselves
    It has proven to be all too much!
    ... Take pitty on me, show me some mercy!




    Submitted on 2011-10-06 00:55:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      When you take the kind of initiative in life that this piece suggests I think that the outcome usually ends badly.

    One part that struck me was that the writer cries out for peers to stop them.

    I think it is up to the individual to stop themselves and if they do not have the conviction to do so, consequence will teach them.

    This piece has a lot of negative elements in it, the exposure of monsters, self created. The appearance of strong emotions, I think all has to do with some beginning anthat echoes that, which I believe is obvious to the reader.


    I enjoy your work, enjoy that you share your pieces, but if this is all personal, might I suggest you force your eyes upon something a little easier to chew than these strong emotions. It might help.
    | Posted on 2011-10-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192835

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Instances written by hyproglo
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Heroína written by MyPeriodical
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry