Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lunatic Fairy Taledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DearlyDeparted
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 211/290/189
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 795



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLunatic Fairy Taledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Once upon a time...
    I hated everything.
    To wake up was nothing more then a burden.
    Taking a breath felt like razor blades.
    Scrapping away the last bit of sanity I held on to.
    All rationality gone.
    Mere whispers left within the inner depths of my mind.
    Dropped in places I never once thought I could find.
    Then one day,
    A door I studied for years opened.
    The halls of peace welcomed me.
    Asking me to breathe in the stars.
    Telling me to hold the sun in the palm of my hands.
    While I swallowed the sky.
    Tranquility gave me the moon for a halo,
    to shine over me during my darkest hours.
    And from this life; I no longer cower.
    I can live happily ever after...
    If I dare try.




    Submitted on 2011-10-11 21:14:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the transition in this piece, and how it is positioned in the middle. It is thoughfully structured and I think EW61 has done a good job in pointing out the cycles interacting with events. I also thought this felt a little like it had a touch of God or prayer inside it.

    Very nice.
    Quite different than I had expected.
    | Posted on 2011-10-12 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem for many reasons. I love the concept and I love the construction of the poem. I love the way it opens: "Once upon a time, I hated everything
    My favorit image: "Then one day,
    A door I studied for years opened.
    The halls of peace welcomed me.
    Asking me to breathe in the stars".
    The poem expresses honest feelings, recognition of cycles in life....how events can turn for the better. This poem would be my prayer for me daughter (who currently has some health issues that are holding her up for now). Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2011-10-11 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192909

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry