[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: ** Old Mandots

    Author: sandman
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 1644/1440/613
    Words: 407
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 483
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2224


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots** Old Mandots

    Once upon a moonlit sky
    the magic of the universe is waiting
    for one of us to succumb to them.
    A spirit lays waiting and hiding
    for one of us to waste our self and consume the wisdom of our soul

    Only some take this momentum
    of drowning in their fears
    They think life is over
    but for them it just begins
    and their long list of days they have to drag themselves from their darkest days ahead

    Their spirit never rests when the soul is stolen from a life weaker than he.
    Inside the body of everyone there is a world of wise and wisdom,
    we all have our own depth of humanity and tranquility
    Keep in mind there are some who believe that they are on a higher ground than us.

    We all meet those people that affect our years to come in many ways.
    A fall from grace the strange look on your face you can see the future of times ahead,

    let the chips fall where they may it seems that hard times is the one most people reject others for.
    The bad choices in life to loosing loved ones everybody mourns in their own way but the strong silent type watch and learn

    You see people cry and cry itís so uneasy hear when your father dies all their tears dry up when the money comes their way. Their true colours stand out while the strong silent type keeps on listening and taking the punishment of their ways.

    Behind the walls of this dark room
    I hide myself from them
    I surrender my dry tears and deepest emotions to you because you told me big boys donít cry when I was your boy!
    I told you what was happening here
    without you.

    This day our soul connected and grew an evil to protect us from harm and now today many years later I dedicate this chapter to you.

    A free man you are now, I am your only son
    You feel me in your soul
    as I connect with you
    In death feel free my father
    I am one, the soul of another
    We met you walking down that road that day
    A younger man I was who lost his life and
    Experienced death many lifetimes ago

    Submitted on 2011-10-13 15:19:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ** Old Man

    Once upon a moonlit sky
    the magic of the universe is waiting
    for one of us to succumb to them.
    A spirit lays waiting and hiding
    for one of us to waste our self and consume

    I love this opening..it packs a punch
    As I read father along, I was caught up in the emotions of the writing..but noticed that the structure of the piece had changed: It felt more like a free flow narrative. Sometimes that's intentional but I wondered about that.
    Thanks for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2011-10-18 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Wavelength written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]