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    dots Submission Name: still yoursdots

    Author: isaiahc4
    ASL Info:    26/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 120/198/62
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 380
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsstill yoursdots

    ive seen her with
    each waking moment
    compared her to all
    i've let advance.

    i've dreamed of her
    like no other
    yet never told her
    and lost my chance.

    she loves another
    loves him deeply.
    cannot see me
    cannot feel.

    i cant force her
    can not hurt her
    cant in a lifetime
    make this real.

    i cant show her
    i'll not chance
    loving so deeply
    a woman so true.

    she loves another
    and she is blinded
    i wish she could love me
    like she's loving you.

    but i am dreaming
    it'll not happen
    i'm not deserving
    a woman so pure.

    i wake from dreaming
    into a nightmare
    where all that i want
    in this world is still yours.

    Submitted on 2011-10-13 20:24:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      My favorite lines:
    ive seen her with
    each waking moment
    compared her to all
    i've let advance.

    When I read that it seemed like she was a dream woman and through out the whole poem (almost) I thought she was just a figment of your imagination made up to fill a void. But as the poem continues, I can tell that she is very real and though you are daydreaming that you wish that she was yours, you find that she will never be...which is depressing. But the poem seems more like...what's the word reconciling emotions. As if you finally understand that you love her deeply but she will never be yours. To me it also seems like you are speaking to her as well as whoever is with her now. Its like you're secretly telling him off but all the while trying to beg for her attention...
    I liked it.
    | Posted on 2011-10-17 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a nice rhythm to this piece and the images are very touching.
    | Posted on 2011-10-15 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]

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