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    dots Submission Name: Hurricane Seasondots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 417/433/131
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 344
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1090


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    dotsHurricane Seasondots

    I think of the sweep of your
    hand across my belly
    that sudden sucking
    in of air

    the movement
    of our hips
    as we dance to music
    we've invented
    because we can't tune in on anything else

    my lips wet, longing,
    yours full, tugging
    at something I'm fighting not to give

    that surrender
    that comes like beaches flooding
    over embankments and into what was
    once protected

    waves crashing, barricades breaking
    resilience collapsing

    the goose prickles
    that form at the back of
    my neck
    and travel like violent streams of
    of liquid fire down my spine

    I see the devastation
    the list of casualties is mounting
    countless lives have been destroyed

    mine included

    And still, I refuse to go,
    rescue parties come
    but I won't leave
    The rest of me is buried
    beneath this rubble somewhere. . .

    Submitted on 2011-10-17 02:04:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way you compare the wanton and reckless art of love making to a hurricane . How it starts slow and works itself to a holocaustal crescendo where the very fabric of your lives is swirling in the air and bouncing off the walls . And then the acquiescence of aftermath that we are not wont to leave as we curl up contentedly in the rubble , satiated .

    | Posted on 2011-12-06 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      This is wow. Seriously, you pulled it all together perfectly and the result is really great. Nice twist coming in suddenly and just sucks you away!

    Definitely a fav.
    | Posted on 2011-10-25 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I thought this was just one of those surrender to passion things until I got into the closing. Supremely powerful with the shift into "devastation". I haven't heard that before.
    | Posted on 2011-10-19 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the last stanza a lot. I wouldn't leave before, what makes you think I'm leaving now? What is the 'rest of me'? Seems like it's your house, and your stuff. That's why people don't leave; they're stuff. If my house is going down, then I'm going down with it.

    That's the funny thing about ownership: we can't let go of things once they fall under 'mine'. And then there's that comparison. We name hurricanes for some reason. Give them names so we can identify them. But what are we doing when we do that? Sure it makes it easier to recall them, but something else is going on...I'm not sure what it is.

    We've been pretty lucky here in Florida, lately. Haven't had a bad one since 2004

    | Posted on 2011-10-17 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, the comparison is so well done here....

    the passion like the hurricane...i know you are dangerous but i won't leave...just like those who refused to leave before Katrina....and they paid for it...will the speaker in this poem?

    probably..but maybe the exhiliration is worth the damage.

    oh those momentary satings..

    | Posted on 2011-10-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Very much like a hurricane, passionate, careless of anything but the path at hand. No consequences to be considered, just the raw mounting strength.

    Loved the comparison.
    | Posted on 2011-10-17 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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