Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Wasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 492
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1205



    Description:
       A remake of my previous poem, "Looking over the world for you" http://www.eliteskills.com/z/169815

    could still use a lot of work but I am happy with it for the moment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Wasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am here
    right here
    not over there
    where the cliffs go
    down to the
    spines
    of the blue sea

    I am here
    right here
    beside you

    looking over
    the world

    Listening to the
    hooves of steel

    clattering the land
    for miles.

    Your angelic wings
    for what can they be?
    But you in my eyes

    looking right here
    not over there
    where the cliffs go

    down to the spines
    of the blue sea.

    I am here
    right here
    beside you

    For you are beautiful
    With your angelic wings

    We will fly
    so far

    not falling to the
    spines of the
    blue sea.

    Words of bedtime tales
    all about your angelic wings

    for your innocence,
    I am here, right here
    beside you,

    not falling to
    the spines
    of the blue sea.

    We will stay
    for I am with you
    beside you

    until
    all there’s left
    Is what Was.




    Submitted on 2011-10-18 23:50:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lovely imagery! really enjoyed it. It fumes with the exuberance of youth. :)
    | Posted on 2011-10-29 00:00:00 | by moaxcym | [ Reply to This ]
      



    In some ways, this piece feel like it could be a song with
    "I am here
    right here
    beside you"
    as a reassuring refrain.

    | Posted on 2011-10-22 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192977

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Genesis written by saartha
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry