Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Homedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 503
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 756



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots A Homedots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is nothing to lose in life but regard,
    for those who have fallen, perspective becomes something to look up at, can you dig it


    Nothing is so worried but the soul's of the the feet of a traveling soldier,
    bound across country and the Rest of the world

    That one end to the battle
    once a fighter always a fighter, and who does not fight
    for something to survive in
    bending for reason without understanding the balance of natural imagination

    twilight before morning suggests
    just react to that for a moment

    keep me at the casual distance between confident loving hands meeting for an embrace
    this will eternally be my home




    Submitted on 2011-10-19 10:08:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I've read and re-read this piece and there is a tone and a mood to this that I really find inviting. It seems very stream of consciousness. Unfortunately, I am having a hard time fully immersing myself in this consciousness. Still, maybe I don't have to.

    I love the first stanza. And I like the lines "and who does not fight
    for something to survive in"

    I love these lines best:


    "twilight before morning suggests
    just react to that for a moment"

    Like we're just supposed to sit on that first line for a while . . .

    This piece has a zen quality to it.

    I guess I'm most confused by the last stanza. Something with the phrasing maybe . . .

    Sorry I couldn't do better here.

    Jane
    | Posted on 2011-10-23 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192982

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    AI written by poetotoe
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry