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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: some kind of gracedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 842



    Description:
       from the archives...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssome kind of gracedots
    -------------------------------------------




    sun comes earlier now. i am up
    and way too smiley for a saturday.
    smoking before twelve
    without an excuse.

    maybe this is the way
    and bob was onto something.
    maybe he wasn't. (God surely
    was though, this morning.)

    snow looks like backward clouds
    lying on the ground. some kind of
    topsy-turvy heaven looking up
    as a road beats its way through.

    garbage cans lie on their plowed-in-sides
    waiting for bags that lean towards
    a kitchen door. i need to clean. need
    to find a driver with a truck.

    need to fetch a dryer and a comfy chair.
    (little bits of life-uh-huh-luck.)
    (and larger answers for my
    pieced-together-prayers.)






    Submitted on 2011-10-20 08:08:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I rearranged my life
    that kept displacing
    the zenith of my dreams
    but what I'm tracing

    is not a hologram
    of happier times
    this nearly frozen soul
    is crisp and bright
    | Posted on 2011-12-12 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      It's some kind of love...maybe some kind of grace. Piece-together-prayers....quite the kicker.

    as an atheist I feel pretty close to God. it seems as if he's trying to tell me something, and then....I reconstruct his face. don't pity me, I'm just playing hard to get.

    but I enjoyed this, a lot. like I always do

    anyways

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-10-22 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      life is pieces and we take what we can get and enjoy the fragments in our own way...

    we think about what we need but hopefully are grateful for what we have...and pray that God will provide necessities...

    the comfy chair and the dryer will somehow make its way to us....

    i really like this photograph of a morning in a life...

    two changes though...3rd stanza is my favorite especially the last line of it..but it should be "backward clouds lying on the ground" and in the next stanza "garbage cans lie on their plowed-in-sides."
    even allowing for poetic license those two spots really felt awkward...

    but there is a mood here...everything isn't perfect in my life...but it's perfect enough for me on this sunny morning.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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