Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainin_Raspbery
    ASL Info:    22/F/Edmonton/AB/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.45 - 145/140/109
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 569



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsItdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It grew and grew
    It kicked and moved
    It sucked it's thumb
    From time to time
    It waved and
    It did summer-salts
    It grinned from ear to ear
    When we took
    it's picture

    Everyday
    It ate, What I ate
    It was a pleasant surprise
    When it came out early
    All of a sudden
    It became she

    She arrived November 18th
    She is my baby
    My fair and sweet candy cane
    The beautifulest thing
    That ever came out of irresponsibility




    Submitted on 2011-10-20 12:38:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this. I enjoyed the evolution of thought and feeling in this. The revelation of a choice made, however way you felt about it evolved into what you feel now. a life...a beautiful one recognized and appreciated. a good one. last lines were great.
    | Posted on 2011-10-22 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]
      You gave me a smile with this. I like the way you transform your opinion of it to the beautifulest thing. Life is a wonder that you written well of.
    | Posted on 2011-10-21 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i say let there be poetic license..

    i like the last two lines

    "the beautifulest thing to come out of irresponsibility"

    that captured me.

    i really like this...careful of the possessive "its"

    "its picture" "sucked its thumb"

    but a whimsical yet warm ode to a daughter.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Why thank you, She's two years old now.
    | Posted on 2011-10-21 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      sweet congratulations on the baby my dear
    may you be blessed on the journey of life
    | Posted on 2011-10-20 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192995

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry