This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

the bright lights


Author: PopRocksRae
ASL Info:    21/ F/ Heaven
Elite Ratio:    2.49 - 232 /369 /355
Words: 100
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1494
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 662



Description:




the bright lights



take care of yourself my daughter.
You are so young yet.
There's more to this world
than you could ever forget.


Take care of your thoughts my daughters
there's not much you know.
The world can seem so vast
when there's still roads to go.

take care of your body my daughter
right now boys mean nothing
but one day they will and
they will say anything.

Take care of your heart my daughter
even when there's nobody in sight
you will understand one day
and not be fooled by the bright lights.





Submitted on 2011-10-22 13:37:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I love the idea of a parent writing to a child. This heartfelt piece reminds me of how I vowed I would impart similar messages to my own daughter. Your poem conveys the wish to protect and empower. Your daughter will treasure it...just one little thing...in the second verse...did you intend to write "daughters" instead of "daughter"? This is a keeper!
| Posted on 2011-10-23 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



193017