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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trying to Forget My Humanitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blankscreen
    ASL Info:    22/f/NY
    Elite Ratio:    5.57 - 222/196/163
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1287



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrying to Forget My Humanitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I will cut it off where it started
    Pervading from head to toes

    I will blast music through these aching ears
    Till deafness overcomes them
    And your stinging words can't penetrate them

    I will scream
    Until I am voiceless
    Struck dumb with fear

    I will pierce my eyes with pictures
    Of happier times
    Until they feel neither joy nor pain

    I will burn my finger tips to a crisp
    So you can't pretend to kiss them,
    Love them,
    I will burn them so you can't hurt them

    I will swallow salt
    Until dehydration overcomes me
    So you can't steal my body
    As well as my soul

    I will taste forgotten stories
    Of how we should have been
    Until I forget who we were

    I will swallow apologies
    Like they are expired medicine for my aching bones
    Too little, and too late

    I will entertain the bruises I am left with
    Until they are yellow, faded, and a part of me
    Until I can't see or feel them
    Until I am numb to the core

    I will forget my humanity
    So you can't hurt me
    And at least one of us can be happy




    Submitted on 2011-10-23 14:03:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i have revisited this...and perhaps have changed my mind a bit...i imagine you need all the parts of this...

    i would use a synonym for "swallow" the second time you use it...sounds accidentally redundant...

    but reading it again...my impression changed...

    good confessional stuff.

    jacob again
    | Posted on 2011-10-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      "i will pierce my eyes with pictures/ of happier times"

    i really like that line...like the theme...some interesting images....

    it gets a bit long for me and loses impact..i would shorten, tighten...

    wrapped around so many good images..it gets wordy...

    but really something to work with..

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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