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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Peacefully, Surrounded by Loved Ones dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 417/433/131
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 334
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 421



    Description:
       Please let me know on this. Specifically, does it work without "alone" at the end?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPeacefully, Surrounded by Loved Ones dots
    -------------------------------------------


    white edged
    split lips

    labor to whisper crackled
    dreams

    (so many never
    came true)

    milk-misted eyes
    flicker

    at flowers bent from the
    effort

    to brighten this
    bleak space

    thin-skinned hands point toward the
    blue way

    we all must go
    alone






    Submitted on 2011-10-25 15:08:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      sounds like a good way to die. makes me think of the show called dead like me. some scene with the younger sister and her goth friends are talking about how they want to die and it's all these gruesome deaths and the mother says Peacefully, Surrounded by Loved Ones....but yep it does seem like how to die, being that they were there in the life lived.

    _Ryan
    | Posted on 2011-12-20 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      A lot speak of whiteness being the door to the afterlife/the unknown/the Godhead/whatever you want to label it; blue, if we are speaking of the meaning behind colours again, denotes/connotes spirituality - I think you capture both here quite incisively.

    Overall, this is tinged with regret. I see this as a characterisation of an old man on his deathbed, thinking about what-ifs, what-never-happened and what-could-never-be. It's sad but most of us will feel this way, that we never quite made the most of life and wish that we had lived past moments more vicariously and with that essence of joie de vivre.

    "Milk-misted" - I like that for its double meaning (to me): cataracts, physically; and a melancholic heart, emotionally.

    Alone, yes.
    It fits perfectly.
    | Posted on 2011-10-26 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      i think it is better without "alone"

    it leaves the end open to interpretation...yes we go to that place in the sky at the end, alone...but also the blue way can stand for all those we leave behind..the grief they share, the blue they feel at the loss.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-10-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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