[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A little thingdots

    Author: tjsmith5
    ASL Info:    28/m/MS
    Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109/231/124
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 466
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1672


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA little thingdots

    There are sacred places.

    Football fields for those who won their division
    but nothing else.

    Classrooms where physics exams
    were won and lost.

    Burned down homes
    that saw twenty Christmases.

    The first place you saw her.
    The last place you saw her.

    I can see that crazy dog still.
    A shetland named Kodie.
    He had one floppy ear,
    And ran faster than the birds flew
    after a white frisbee.

    And I can see her too
    in early November
    at the Overlook of the Natchez Trace,
    spry like this dog she loved.

    When she smiled,
    she smiled all the way,
    as far as her lips would part.
    Her pale green eyes would disappear.
    I found what those
    playwrights in California sell to us.

    And then one day
    she changed her mind
    and though I prayed to God for her return,
    I never saw her again.

    And I went back to the Overlook some night after.
    It was only myself
    and the breeze through the oaks and pines.
    There were stars but no moon.

    And then a great comet came.
    It skipped across the sky like a stone on a lake.

    It was blazing white
    then a faint green and pink
    into lavender
    and then it burst and crumbled.

    And the crumbs of the great comet
    followed behind and sparkled away
    as if to bow with spread arms.

    and I never, ever felt so loved in my life.

    Ridgeland, MS 10/25/11

    Submitted on 2011-10-25 19:43:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem its beautifulYour completely right about sacred places noone else can go.
    | Posted on 2011-10-25 00:00:00 | by SetmyselfonFire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Incubus written by monad
    This written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]