[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A little thingdots

    Author: tjsmith5
    ASL Info:    28/m/MS
    Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109/231/124
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 430
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1672


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA little thingdots

    There are sacred places.

    Football fields for those who won their division
    but nothing else.

    Classrooms where physics exams
    were won and lost.

    Burned down homes
    that saw twenty Christmases.

    The first place you saw her.
    The last place you saw her.

    I can see that crazy dog still.
    A shetland named Kodie.
    He had one floppy ear,
    And ran faster than the birds flew
    after a white frisbee.

    And I can see her too
    in early November
    at the Overlook of the Natchez Trace,
    spry like this dog she loved.

    When she smiled,
    she smiled all the way,
    as far as her lips would part.
    Her pale green eyes would disappear.
    I found what those
    playwrights in California sell to us.

    And then one day
    she changed her mind
    and though I prayed to God for her return,
    I never saw her again.

    And I went back to the Overlook some night after.
    It was only myself
    and the breeze through the oaks and pines.
    There were stars but no moon.

    And then a great comet came.
    It skipped across the sky like a stone on a lake.

    It was blazing white
    then a faint green and pink
    into lavender
    and then it burst and crumbled.

    And the crumbs of the great comet
    followed behind and sparkled away
    as if to bow with spread arms.

    and I never, ever felt so loved in my life.

    Ridgeland, MS 10/25/11

    Submitted on 2011-10-25 19:43:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem its beautifulYour completely right about sacred places noone else can go.
    | Posted on 2011-10-25 00:00:00 | by SetmyselfonFire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Dream written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]