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    dots Submission Name: Be My Medicine Showdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 419/435/131
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 305
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 413


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBe My Medicine Showdots

    tip a top hat
    show me your wares

    speak to me of snake oil
    magic elixirs

    Witch Hazel and
    her pretty sister Belladonna

    brighten my smile
    smooth my soul

    cure all with a
    single spoonful

    I will blindly hitch
    my wagon to your

    beast of burdens
    your cracked axle and wheel

    Submitted on 2011-10-29 06:20:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I just love this . It makes me want to proffer my erotica erectile errantry , and exserted protuberance pour a tankard of my elixir libation ambrosia . I could mesmerize and enrapture you with my impromptu innuendo junctural . Speak to you of the here and now and the lush state of your nonce-ness nuance . Get all adjunctly juxtapositional with my synthetically conjugational conjectures and be cogently fecund with your mind . It would almost be xenobiotic of its anabolic possibilities .


    PS: I hope this doesn't piss you off . Cause you to be a degenerately diabolical demonic denizen . I was only being jocular . I don't really want to ravish and molest . I was only speaking figuratively .
    PSS: you should try "Ransom" it might make you feel better . It's short .
    | Posted on 2011-12-07 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      This to me speaks of times I used to seek for happiness in the hands of others and somehow I was always willing to give myself freely and do whatever it took to create happiness, only to be blind to the situation at hand and get caught up in a kind of dead-pool that slowly chokes the soft hues and blue skies from my eyes and leave a withered shell of what i thought i used to be.

    I think this is very cool.

    | Posted on 2011-10-29 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't know if there really is magic in relationships..especially if two people get together who have been hurt before...but seems the speaker is asking for that...give some of your magic potion, give me magic love that will help me believe in love again.

    i see you are carrying a load of baggage and i will join you even if your axle and wheel are cracked and the road might be rough...

    it takes awhile to regain trust.

    i like the abstractness here..

    i like the idea of the other person being my medicine show....and there is sarcasm...i really don't believe your magic elixer will work..but go ahead and try to convince me that you are real, and sincere..and you love me...

    my past is hitched to my wagon..so beware.

    | Posted on 2011-10-29 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I got a funny image. It was like, the medicine was the beasts(of burdens) and then by taking, your wagon would be hitched to them.

    I really liked how this read in the first three stanzas. You had a really good flow going and then it just stopped. But, it's good that you didn't try to force all of your words into a pattern. I've got caught in that mess before. Now I'm always content before flow. Still, it had a nice ring to it.
    The rhyme of 'wares' and 'elixirs' and then just the sound of Belladonna.

    Yet I had this really sardonic movie playing in my head while I read this. Like some sort of satirical drug deal (with medicine) in a Charlie Chaplin film or something. The "drug dealer" pulling back the flaps of his coat to reveal oxycontin and other sorts of pills. Then the narrator eats/drinks and dozes off into sleep, then has a dream of being carried away in her wagon by a couple horses, some mules, etc.

    So essentially, I saw quite a show haha.

    Not sure how this compares to a lot of your other works. To me, it was fun kind of going back and trying to figure out what the heck this was about. Took a while. Not really my taste per se, but I still found parts that I liked. For example: the motion picture that played out in my head after a few reads. It was a short film, but it was there.

    That being said I can't give it the old aye or nay. It's not my place to judge.
    It was peculiar. I had to read it about 6 times to feel confident enough to comment on it accurately.
    I strangely enjoy that sometimes...like solving a puzzle.

    | Posted on 2011-10-29 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

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