[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My beautiful cursedots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 647
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1148

       Felt like writing, feel free to bash it!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy beautiful cursedots

    I am a visage of thoughts condensed,
    a matrix of potentials bound by
    solitary viewpoints and understandings
    unfathomable to the distracted seekers
    waltzing through cycles of self perpetuals,
    calling this "normal".

    This world is a collection of
    differentiation and pointing fingers,
    fed and fed again to the empty mouths
    growing hungrily from its soil,
    caught up in spinning layers
    and colors yet unseen.

    A constant stream of screams float
    through this place,
    calling me to open my box of ideas
    and change the sun's light to
    something more visible,
    cutting into me as I taste
    after certainty and truth,
    looking for something to grasp and feel..

    A denial of impossibility
    I carry between these un-sheathed eyes,
    to unfold upon this plane
    a place to sit and watch
    cold sheets crumble from skin and
    old hearts melting away,
    exposing the reasons
    for being here...


    Submitted on 2011-11-01 18:33:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i kind of feel like the first verse could sum up consciousness for many. not taken with a dark tone that is. seems very soul searching. that's good.
    | Posted on 2011-11-03 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this and want to come back to it for a more detailed review...but that line "change the sun's light to something more visible"

    reminds me of poetry and the idea some have of keeping it real..too real, too blunt...not allowing for some abstract thinking...

    just saw that...poets are so minsunderstood most of the time anyway..i mean in terms of them being misunderstood no matter the words...
    oh, "hungrily from its soil"

    but nice line too...

    i enjoy your writes...they let me drift. i like to drift.

    | Posted on 2011-11-01 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rough written by saartha
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Two written by homeless
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shading written by saartha
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    I Believed written by homeless
    Yearn written by saartha
    Roots written by Chelebel
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled: June 24, 2018 written by homeless
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Eyes written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Orange written by saartha
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]