Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Transition Fluiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 709



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Transition Fluiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A symptom of this,
    leaking breakfluid

    The house has gotten colder in the changing season,
    dry skin
    breathing in until it hurts
    biting air inside my lungs

    The patience it takes to nurse the wounds of change

    And checking the fluids daily,
    oil
    check
    powersteering
    check
    balanced air
    so so
    transmission
    leaking, check

    Does this after so much time,
    and we have to break out the heaters and the lotion to moisterize

    And please write down on my to do list,
    smile
    Laugh
    everyday
    And be thankful for at least three things




    Submitted on 2011-11-07 11:31:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Happy day ~*~ I enjoyed this piece and how you used a vehicle "checklist" applied to your life. Also, the interesting way it was written made it fun to read.

    Thanks & smiles to share :-)
    | Posted on 2011-11-07 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193186

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Stretto written by saartha
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    ME written by jjd
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry