Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: paint my boxcardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 527



    Description:
       for leon.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspaint my boxcardots
    -------------------------------------------







    sometimes,
    i most certainly
    i love, she says.

    (with a blinding trust
    that always wouldn't
    break her heart).

    she knew this wasn't heaven.
    she knew that. knew that.
    but words were like snow.

    and when it snowed,
    it was as if God himself
    had let out a sigh.







    Submitted on 2011-11-11 08:49:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the repetition of "knew" here. It is so desperate and insistent.

    I have read that words are wind. But I like the idea that they are snow better. I like how it shows all these different things. How they can cover you, or just melt away, freeze you or wake you up.

    I like them as a sigh from God, too. Of course his sighs would be so cold. And yet, each flake is different. One for each soul?

    Really pretty words here--the way they all come together.

    Jane
    | Posted on 2012-02-12 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      i like how the second stanza is set off in parentheses...as if she really believes this..but we get the dramatic irony...it isn't true...

    she has been snowed again by love...and wishes God would quit sighing.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-11-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193234

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Love written by saartha
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry