[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Broken Wordsdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 19
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 294
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 123


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBroken Wordsdots

    I broke your words with a shrill shout
    shards fell over us
    cutting in like cruel utterances
    always do.

    Submitted on 2011-11-11 17:14:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      How well you describe, in a few lines, the unfortunate moments we may sometimes have in our relationships. Had you tried to make this poem longer, the impact would be diminished. As it is, At the end, I have a of feeling of anger, shock and remorse. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-11-12 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      we often cut each other with our harshness....this is like an argument in which one person just isn't listening...and the speaker has to shout at the top of her lungs to get attention...

    it breaks the mood like glass...i could actually see the two people laughing hysterically as the shards fall..even if they are being cut, they might realize how useless it is to be shouting at one another, to be mad at one another...

    i'd like to see a different word for "word" in one of those spots...a little trippy...

    but a short piece that screams volumes.

    wonder why you are not on the main page with your posts? i might have missed these.

    | Posted on 2011-11-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]