[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Cure for a Dull Daydots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 335
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1013


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Cure for a Dull Daydots

    My day was dull, so I opened a packet of fresh images hoping to use them before they got stale.
    I used the earthy smell of autumn
    to evoke memories of chilly childhood days
    with their blazing colour and warm coats.
    I took the tickle of light warm rain
    on my skin and sprayed it over my body
    to remove that numb workday tedium.
    I dressed a salad with some sweet daydreams
    carefully avoiding the intense ones
    because I was a bit thought dry.
    I replayed the sound of your silky voice
    singing me love songs to cover the traffic noises
    and the sounds of the obnoxious drunks
    walking home from the pubs,
    and my thumping headache eased.
    I pinched some colours from Gauguin paintings
    and covered the bland white walls in them
    and wore my happiness like a couture gown.
    Feeling a bit full after my binge, but oddly satisfied,
    I had a cup of tea and dozed off in a chair.

    Submitted on 2011-11-11 17:55:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have a delightful way to cure the blahs. It is wonderful to have memories that content you like this so that you can have a nice nap. I was a little confused at the line ending in bland white walls in them. It reads as though the white walls are in the paintings but I assume the walls are meant to be in the dull day - just took a moment to make the connect even though it is quite understandable it the overall context. This little nit-picking aside, I love the poem. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-11-12 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is, quite simply, a beautiful piece.

    i think it's a perfect poem.

    it moves, it breathes, and it speaks volumes.....so full of sensory images. everything we think and feel starts with some kind of sensory experience, and they're all right here in this piece.

    "I dressed a salad with some sweet daydreams". beautiful line. wonderful blending of images...

    and the sound of someone's voice singing love songs to drown out the traffic noise.....the speaker transports herself out of the unpleasant reality surrounding her when she recalls how her lover's voice would sound....

    if i did favorites, this would be on there...it's one of the best poems i've seen here in a long time....
    | Posted on 2011-11-12 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      this is my favourite piece of yours i have read.

    absolutely wonderful use of metaphors for writing mixed with seasonal images and thoughts for the day--

    you took the mundane and made it beautiful.

    damn...i am thinking througout this piece...with almost every line..."i wish i had written that"---

    | Posted on 2011-11-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]