[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Cure for a Dull Daydots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 368
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1013


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Cure for a Dull Daydots

    My day was dull, so I opened a packet of fresh images hoping to use them before they got stale.
    I used the earthy smell of autumn
    to evoke memories of chilly childhood days
    with their blazing colour and warm coats.
    I took the tickle of light warm rain
    on my skin and sprayed it over my body
    to remove that numb workday tedium.
    I dressed a salad with some sweet daydreams
    carefully avoiding the intense ones
    because I was a bit thought dry.
    I replayed the sound of your silky voice
    singing me love songs to cover the traffic noises
    and the sounds of the obnoxious drunks
    walking home from the pubs,
    and my thumping headache eased.
    I pinched some colours from Gauguin paintings
    and covered the bland white walls in them
    and wore my happiness like a couture gown.
    Feeling a bit full after my binge, but oddly satisfied,
    I had a cup of tea and dozed off in a chair.

    Submitted on 2011-11-11 17:55:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have a delightful way to cure the blahs. It is wonderful to have memories that content you like this so that you can have a nice nap. I was a little confused at the line ending in bland white walls in them. It reads as though the white walls are in the paintings but I assume the walls are meant to be in the dull day - just took a moment to make the connect even though it is quite understandable it the overall context. This little nit-picking aside, I love the poem. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-11-12 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is, quite simply, a beautiful piece.

    i think it's a perfect poem.

    it moves, it breathes, and it speaks volumes.....so full of sensory images. everything we think and feel starts with some kind of sensory experience, and they're all right here in this piece.

    "I dressed a salad with some sweet daydreams". beautiful line. wonderful blending of images...

    and the sound of someone's voice singing love songs to drown out the traffic noise.....the speaker transports herself out of the unpleasant reality surrounding her when she recalls how her lover's voice would sound....

    if i did favorites, this would be on there...it's one of the best poems i've seen here in a long time....
    | Posted on 2011-11-12 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      this is my favourite piece of yours i have read.

    absolutely wonderful use of metaphors for writing mixed with seasonal images and thoughts for the day--

    you took the mundane and made it beautiful.

    damn...i am thinking througout this piece...with almost every line..."i wish i had written that"---

    | Posted on 2011-11-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]