Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Elder Busdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 387
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 837



    Description:
       Just a notice


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsElder Busdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit on the bus, watching the blurry images of green trees and telephones poles pass by. My attention is caught by an elderly lady sitting in the disabled seating at the front of the bus. She has wrinkles like an old oak tree, and eyes a deep emerald. People come on the bus each time it stops and the old women smiles at the isles as they walk by. She makes no eye contact. Her velvet hat of purple and her matching gloves sit lightly on her lap. Her watch is visible through the space between her gloves and her grey rain coat. The watch is a yellow gold, with a white background and scripture-esk black numbers. The clock ticks, but its ticking the same tick, trying to get to the next number, but itís being held back by its demeaning battery, or a piece of debris. I am not sure, as I donít ask to take a closer look at the watch.




    Submitted on 2011-11-16 19:31:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193280

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Linger written by saartha
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    This written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    ME written by jjd
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Promise written by annie0888

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry