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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: crashley
    Elite Ratio:    0.43 - 3/26/100
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 325
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1177


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    Sheets scratch and it smells sharp
    Cry out, noses wrinkle and
    A body hits the door

    A team assembled!
    White coat and red-faced
    The door caves inward
    Screams rebound
    white white walls

    Curious, no?
    White walls
    Passionless, undecided
    White coats

    White faces
    Blue veins
    Black bruises
    Rainbow minds

    It is time for action!
    Quick prick
    Body hits the floor

    Leaving victorious,
    all a swish of coats
    and business
    and money
    and broken spirits

    "Just lie there" they say
    Body moved to the bed.
    Until the next fit
    Until the next 'episode'
    "Just lie there"

    Stay quiet in your white walls!
    For God's sake,
    your scratchy sheets,
    and your passionless life
    do not breathe!
    just lie there

    Just lie in your scratchy,
    hospital bed

    Submitted on 2011-11-22 23:40:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this. It's like you're fighting a disease and you've discovered that only through motion you can fight it and now you're trying to convince others that remaining motionless in a bed only takes the disease further. I'm also convinced of this fact. When I'm suffering a cold I've found out that lying in bed only aggravates it. Modern medicine also states this by sometimes prescribing vitamin C and/or caffeine for treating it as both substances gives us energy and makes us move and fight the sickness with full strength. This is also true in most psychological problems, the newest studies show that high doses of vitamins can help people overcome them. I really like this poem as it mixes science with poetry, something that I do a lot in some of my poems. Good job on writing this!
    | Posted on 2011-11-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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