Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Spoken Munitiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Rant/Satire
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 743



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpoken Munitiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fifteen minutes after I left his side
    he burst into the house
    like flames raging through
    a bonfire of forgotten flaws.

    I could hear his voice bellow
    a colorful discourse
    from the bowels
    of the dungeon
    dragging in dirt from the past
    and digging up rusty things
    that had yet to surface!

    Everything spun in an upward spiral
    through the unfinished laundry chute
    out into the kitchen
    where I felt the lifeless weight
    of my apron begin
    to unravel
    as I faced his heat.

    I didnít hear every word,
    but I heard enough.

    I just wanted to gather my ashes
    and quietly blow away.




    Submitted on 2011-11-25 09:29:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      revisiting this one i just marvel at your metaphors....and similes...

    "like flames raging through a bonfire of forgotten flaws"

    really nice one there...among others...

    words like ammunition...shooting holes through our self-esteem


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-06-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      words can be so hurtful...i see the "house" as heart---

    like leaving someone and then having that person turn on you with a barrage of blame--

    after awhile you shut your ears...and you want to just disappear---but you can't...and the words continue to burn.

    people can make us feel responsible...when often we are not the ones. This has happened to me...especially in one relationship
    i remember...this poem helps me remember.

    the last two lines bring it to perfect closure---at least for the poem if not for the speaker.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193366

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Linger written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    ME written by jjd
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry