Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rise dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Runes
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790/815/281
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 546



    Description:
       for Clayman


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRise dots
    -------------------------------------------


    We have become Angels:
    asexual and indifferent,
    All-Knowing,
    unwilling to lose our wings
    to Human fire,
    our feet badly scarred
    from walking on coals.
    We dream in smoke,
    our hatred makes ashes
    and even when paired,
    we are always
    Alone.

    We have become Angels,
    deadly, decisive,
    exclusive in numbers
    that add up to One.
    We belong to the stars,
    cold-spaced and distant,
    with only Darkness
    touching our hearts.




    Submitted on 2011-11-25 10:58:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Poetic indeed even if the theology is quite arguable by those who actually believe in angels, fallen or otherwise. Nice compliment.
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Jennifer

    read around the technical stuff, sorry but your piece sparked a bit of a concept about scientific rhetoric, but it all relates to relationships in this piece and solving the puzzle may help you write more with similar relationships naturally. but skip down to the bottom after the large space after the next text down. i'm going to take your title operative-ly.--although i hope you know i don't support nor do i believe in any form of human to human harm, although considering the level of subjectivism that may be how it seams for some people, but i'm working on algorithms really. and this as in your piece, to me, describes poetic-meme-logy.

    http://www.eliteskills.com/z/193374

    but yep that's how i read your piece. haha i think i killed saint jimmy.(as in i didn't follow the es commandments)

    Ryan

    by the way i mean --that--
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Despite the contrast between the two stanzas, there is still a beautiful symmetry here enhanced by the fact that the opening lines are the same even though they take the stanzas in different directions.

    Terrific piece!!
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with Matt...the first stanza mixes images which could refer to the Holocaust while at the same time speaking of passion's fire, hot coals etc.

    but it all burns away as we get to know what life is going to do to us...and it makes us strangers to love. We become cold and distant.
    And only darkness touches our heart...to the point where even being paired with another, we are still alone.

    beautiful and sad piece

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the contrast of the two stanzas.
    The rising of the immaculate.
    Subtle and beautiful
    Beautiful and terrible.
    Like how the Nazis saw themselves: Perfect.
    Yet we know them now as monsters.

    We have become angels.
    What a phrase!

    Very nice

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-11-25 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193368

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    Stretto written by saartha
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Incubus written by monad
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry