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    dots Submission Name: Carving Lessonsdots

    Author: rubie
    Elite Ratio:    7.03 - 177/68/17
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 775
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 211


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    dotsCarving Lessonsdots

    Carving Lessons

    cruel chisel
    chipping away at my heart of stone
    marble dust floats to the floor
    as you break off pieces of my alabaster reserve


    Submitted on 2011-11-27 18:15:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      short poem with an intense meaning.. intense emotions.. i loved it really.. u have perfectly done with the length of this poem. would have lost the concentration of the salt in this poem, if it were any longer .. great job!

    | Posted on 2011-12-10 00:00:00 | by Iram | [ Reply to This ]
      what shape do you now take? How will we find you when the chisel has finished its work? Perhaps it is not a cruel instrument after all, perhaps it is sloughing off what is cracked and dead and no longer able to absorb all the beauty, all the wonder around it.

    Just thoughts.

    Nice little write.

    | Posted on 2011-11-30 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      we are all soft flesh somewhere. deep down. down. chisel.
    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      now cruel chisels no longer bother me...my heart is stone enough...i am within my own rock...and it is comfortable enough there.

    sometimes i would like to go back..but too late for that.

    this poem is taut...and says a lot in few words...

    breaks off a slice of feeling and lets us savor it.

    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I lived this one today... it's a wonderful piece, though a very painful process. It's no coincidence that stone and alone rhyme, I think.
    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]

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