Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Chancesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Runes
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790/815/281
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1087



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Chancesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There was a little blue earth with a cracked ice moon
    that spun around a bright gold star.
    and a big black void that was known as Sky
    stretching infinitely far.
    There were clouds that floated here and there
    plus a few odd satellites
    and a thousand twinkles sparkling
    like small diamonds shining bright.

    The little earth was marble-sized, but it held
    such wondrous things:
    things that moved and swayed and crawled within
    the texture of its blues and greens.
    But there was no god sitting in the Sky
    in a palace made of gold
    like the little things that moved and crawled
    through their finite lives prayed for.

    There was one blue earth with one white moon,
    one of billions in the black void sky,
    and it circled one of a thousand stars
    that gave off bright gold light.
    Of all unknown intelligence
    existing throughout space,
    what luck it was to meet you here
    in this little blue-green place.






    Submitted on 2011-11-27 21:24:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    | Posted on 2011-11-29 00:00:00 | by NOI01 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem tells itself as a lovely story. It feels almost like a fairy tale. The magic in it is so profound, because the magic is what most of us call "science' or "chance". It shows life as the miracle. Life itself. Not some greater, larger thing beyond life, but what we have right here right now. And most miraculous of all is that we have each other to share it with. And we have the chance to love.

    Great work.

    Jane

    | Posted on 2011-11-29 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't know wow...makes me ponder that inevitable question...is there a soul-mate out there for each of us...and will we find that person with all the chance meetings and chance misses...

    this is well worded--i like the play on colors..and i like how this piece weaves back on itself in the last stanza...like it goes out there in space but knows it is going to eventually find its way back...just like we might eventually find that perfect other.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-11-28 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is simply wonderful. I've always been amazed by the vastness of the universe and the infinitesimal existence we lead in it. Moreover, it's even more astounding to me that any of us can meet the "right" person during our brief lifetime here.

    Love this piece.....you've nailed it.
    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      but there was another planet. and the concepts bred from misconception unfurled into science, and the little movements made devices. mixed them into themselves and created machines big enough to take the world with them. creating the gods and heavens with subjectivity of definition. with an understanding of equivocation and an endless depth of imagination. the human race filled every stone hurled into the nothingness moved by chance and fueled by mathematics. save your own Sum Of Unique Language Systems from the Sequentially Integrative Nuerosis..........

    (hey it's possible that buzz aldrin had a god complex and he sat in sky. well floated, but still< he might have had a gold watch which is a world for bacteria)
    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193393

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Release written by robbie
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Instances written by hyproglo
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    Behest [krb + drb] written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry