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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Daughter of My Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jaycee
    ASL Info:    38/F/ Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.85 - 2410/1167/153
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710



    Description:
       


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    dotsDaughter of My Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    In you, I see my youthful reflection;
    A child, hungering for acceptance, but never reaching out.
    The thoughtless deeds of others have left you wary
    To reveal the tender, caring heart at the pulse of your beauty.
    Reach out, daughter of my heart, mirror of my soul.
    The very tenderness you protect so fiercely is the key to friendship.
    Your friends may be few, but deep devotion breeds loyalty-
    Loyalty that bonds them as siblings of the heart.
    Do not punish yourself for others cruelties
    By holding Love at arms length
    Let the beauty of your soul shine with intensity and passion
    Binding to you those who will ever be true.




    Submitted on 2004-02-15 13:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very intimate poem. You communicate the perfect sympathy you have with your daughter: She is your "youthful reflection". This not only gives an added emotional strength, but also lets us know that you know what you are talking about and that your understanding is from a first person's perspective.

    Throughout the poem you contrast the others' "cruelties" with your daughter's tenderness while showing that this clash of opposites can be brutal on those virtuous. My only quibbling this time regards "hungering", which sounds to me a little rapacious.

    As any caring mother would be moved to do , you try to imbue resiliency in your daughter, telling her to continue being her special self and that her fair qualities will win her the loyal friends she deserves. And you end with a beautiful incantation of sorts casting your magical spell, endowing as it were your daughter with strength. You wrote a touching and wise poem. Thank you for sharing it. :) Peace
    Raz
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by razmohin2 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the message of this write, very interesting. The structure is kinda cool. Hardly any ryhming was the correct way to go on this one. Overall nice write.
    | Posted on 2004-02-15 00:00:00 | by Phall | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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