[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Trivial Bonesdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 419/435/131
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1288


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrivial Bonesdots

    this is my latest bone to pick
    or is it a scab
    the dried blood peeled back
    to expose bright red

    why do I constantly gasp for breath;
    feel the red creeping
    up my neck
    burning my cheeks
    when I have something I need to say?

    because in my life war is only on the tv screen
    it doesn't matter that a boy can never
    hug his mother again
    in my world women are not blown to pieces on the way to get groceries

    it barely registers

    the thought that some African tribes mutilate their little girls with shards of dirty glass

    seems too awful to ponder for too long

    that children are sold for sex and shipped in containers like fruit

    it seems too impossible, too ugly, too horrid

    but I stomp my foot when I can't find my
    car when I leave the store

    in my world it is about me
    that I blush when I speak in front of crowds
    that my sister doesn't return my calls
    that I twisted my ankle on the way to the door
    that my life doesn't mean more

    these are the bones I choose to pick
    meager, trivial bones

    Submitted on 2011-12-02 04:01:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      We draw circles around ourselves, and then circles within circles, and circles that overlap, also others outside that only touch by the edges, then there are those we don't even want to touch at all. Around all of this there is one big circle that holds everything. This is our universe. We can only juggle so many circles at once. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram

    Lovely bit of realization you've written.
    | Posted on 2011-12-03 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah the blissfully ignorant life of the shallow and self centered . Personally I say , give me a girl with attitude problems . I know it's depressing to consider the state of the human race , and further I'm probably not going to change it with my meager feelings . But I don't seem to get to chalk it up to triviality . It causes me deep seated feelings of abysmal abjection and hostility . Sure I pretty much keep them to myself , try to live the honesty of my trivial bones , but even still I have deep seated visceral feelings . I don't understand how you live without them . Or do you ?

    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is really a strong piece, reflecting how often people just bitch and moan about how awful their lives are when the reality is...others have such misery, poverty, hardships in life that does make our problems seem so trivial...

    we complain about being hungry because we missed lunch...when there are people who can't get one decent meal in a day...

    in foreign countries, the bombs, the killing...
    the women blown up in a grocery store, while we complain that we have to stand in line at the checkout for five extra minutes...

    this expressive piece says it so well...so many readers will undoubtedly be able to put themselves in the speaker's shoes.

    and at lest the speaker in this poem has shoes...

    some people in the world would just like to have any kind of shoes to put their feet into.

    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]