Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 396



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    the depth is what we are speaking of
    infinite space and time exceed my rational thought process
    and obliterate my senses

    Overwhelming
    the very fabric of my being
    Carrying
    a tune across my lips
    that my ears will not hear

    A light performs spectral glances from my eyes
    a subtle sparkle
    and a hint of home




    Submitted on 2011-12-02 10:06:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is nicely done. I think "rational thought process" and "the very fabric of my being" might be a bit commonly phrased though. I like the use of internal rhyme in "that my ears will not hear" and the eye rhyme of "Overwhelming/ the very fabric of my being."

    I hope all is well,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Home is where the heart is, but sometimes even though we know it is where we belong, we won't hear of it...we are too scared...of love
    the depth of it frightens our very being, the feeling of being overwhelmed...the hesitation...but ultimately we know...the door is open, and home beckons.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193429

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    To written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry