Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 558
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 396



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    the depth is what we are speaking of
    infinite space and time exceed my rational thought process
    and obliterate my senses

    Overwhelming
    the very fabric of my being
    Carrying
    a tune across my lips
    that my ears will not hear

    A light performs spectral glances from my eyes
    a subtle sparkle
    and a hint of home




    Submitted on 2011-12-02 10:06:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is nicely done. I think "rational thought process" and "the very fabric of my being" might be a bit commonly phrased though. I like the use of internal rhyme in "that my ears will not hear" and the eye rhyme of "Overwhelming/ the very fabric of my being."

    I hope all is well,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Home is where the heart is, but sometimes even though we know it is where we belong, we won't hear of it...we are too scared...of love
    the depth of it frightens our very being, the feeling of being overwhelmed...the hesitation...but ultimately we know...the door is open, and home beckons.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193429

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Cover written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry