The Banana Peel Deal by Runes

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: The Banana Peel Deal dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Runes
Elite Ratio:	5.29 - 790/815/281
Words:	84

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	780
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	533

Description:

The Banana Peel Deal dots

-------------------------------------------

Women like me don't fall.
We might snag something with the heel
of our shoe, step wrong, stumble over
something littering the path,
but we catch ourselves and keep on
or maybe even drag it along for awhile
before finally kicking it off, but fall?
Oh silly man! How foolish of you
to think I'd be so clumsy to slip
or trip on something so trivial
as a slick spot like you
greasing my path.

Submitted on 2011-12-07 19:39:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Love the "tude"! Yet somehow with this I don't get the feeling you are a ball buster either. Need
I mention the double entendre/Freudian banana slip?
| Posted on 2011-12-09 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  The writing in this is tight. The metaphor holds throughout and yes, the attitude is quite bold. Quite strong.

That, "nothing can trip me up" state of mind.

I have that attitude, too, sometimes. But I'm not quite so good at keeping from falling, still, I guess.

I try, but then I stumble, careen forward, and SPLAT! Like something out of an old cartoon.

I never laughed at those. Maybe I sensed that I'd be the butt of the joke someday.

Still, it makes me a little sad. That I even try not to fall. That that has become the goal.

To me, it shows the scars of all the times in the past that it took to get so agile. Few of us are born so naturally dexterous.

Maybe your poem should read, "women like me don't fall anymore". But I guess that would be another poem altogether.
| Posted on 2011-12-08 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
  excellent metaphor...and like rubie said...love the attitude in this...

i picture the snag, the stumble but the catching of oneself just before the guy would get what he wanted...

and we are always told to tell women..."nice shoes,"

cause they like that compliment...

well compliment them but don't get in their path...lol

jacob
| Posted on 2011-12-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  A poem with attitude! I love this! You can bend me, but you won't break me....

And if we happen to "drag it along for awhile", it impedes our steps, it feels awkward and it clings to our shoes until we get tired of it and discard it.

Nice write, Runes!
| Posted on 2011-12-07 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

193503

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
written by Daniel Barlow
One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
Happy New Oblivion written by Pietro
Next to you written by robbie
written by Daniel Barlow
Giant written by MyPeriodical
Mei written by Chelebel
Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
Untitled written by taintedsmiles
A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
Remember written by MyPeriodical
Remedies written by MyPeriodical
Begin Again written by Teofila
Release written by robbie
written by Daniel Barlow
Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
Heroína written by MyPeriodical
written by Daniel Barlow
Behest written by Daniel Barlow
Challenge - Msg to a Mountain Lynx written by Daniel Barlow
potpourri written by MyPeriodical
Agitations written by MyPeriodical
I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
I am a sorry son. Part two written by MyPeriodical
MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody
Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
written by Daniel Barlow
Rose colored glasses written by taintedsmiles
written by Daniel Barlow

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.