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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Banana Peel Dealdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Runes
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790/815/281
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 780
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 533



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Banana Peel Dealdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Women like me don't fall.
    We might snag something with the heel
    of our shoe, step wrong, stumble over
    something littering the path,
    but we catch ourselves and keep on
    or maybe even drag it along for awhile
    before finally kicking it off, but fall?
    Oh silly man! How foolish of you
    to think I'd be so clumsy to slip
    or trip on something so trivial
    as a slick spot like you
    greasing my path.










    Submitted on 2011-12-07 19:39:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Love the "tude"! Yet somehow with this I don't get the feeling you are a ball buster either. Need
    I mention the double entendre/Freudian banana slip?
    | Posted on 2011-12-09 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      The writing in this is tight. The metaphor holds throughout and yes, the attitude is quite bold. Quite strong.

    That, "nothing can trip me up" state of mind.

    I have that attitude, too, sometimes. But I'm not quite so good at keeping from falling, still, I guess.

    I try, but then I stumble, careen forward, and SPLAT! Like something out of an old cartoon.

    I never laughed at those. Maybe I sensed that I'd be the butt of the joke someday.

    Still, it makes me a little sad. That I even try not to fall. That that has become the goal.

    To me, it shows the scars of all the times in the past that it took to get so agile. Few of us are born so naturally dexterous.

    Maybe your poem should read, "women like me don't fall anymore". But I guess that would be another poem altogether.
    | Posted on 2011-12-08 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent metaphor...and like rubie said...love the attitude in this...

    i picture the snag, the stumble but the catching of oneself just before the guy would get what he wanted...

    and we are always told to tell women..."nice shoes,"

    cause they like that compliment...

    well compliment them but don't get in their path...lol

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      A poem with attitude! I love this! You can bend me, but you won't break me....

    And if we happen to "drag it along for awhile", it impedes our steps, it feels awkward and it clings to our shoes until we get tired of it and discard it.

    Nice write, Runes!
    | Posted on 2011-12-07 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]


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