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    dots Submission Name: Missing Youdots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 413
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1052


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    dotsMissing Youdots

    The witching hour has been devoured
    and thunder grumbles mock me in this lair.
    Jackals stalk and undead walk,
    while lightning crackles are raising hackles
    upon my fading graying hairs.
    O' I long to put my weary bones away.
    Yet, I dare not yield the field to slumber.
    For there in lurking
    a torrid tempest dwells.
    A fear filled tempest so slovenly loathsome
    and unwholesome;
    that I must not misadventure into its griping pincers.
    For surely once so stricken,
    nothing may then quicken,
    and bring to pound a pulse repulsed and sickened;
    by the imposture who haunts and taunts in demon vision.
    The imposture who reminds me why, my love
    will never greet or meet or care.
    For I love her in a fashion, that
    smoldering in its passion,
    defies the lies that otherwise, would put the cause of her demise?
    Where reason cries and I deny, I cry why, Is it my,
    hands that bear her blood!

    Submitted on 2011-12-09 20:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really line the rhyming here which flows so very well, example as: "For I love her in a fashion, that
    smoldering in its passion,
    defies the lies that otherwise, would put the cause of her demise?
    Where reason cries and I deny, I cry why, Is it my,
    hands that bear her blood!

    Although the last line "Is it my,
    hands that bear her blood!" seems to detract a little, to the scheme of rhyme and closing at least to me.

    I'm also not entertained by the prospect of having a degree of personal fear or angst included since we have total control here as long as we play by the rules.

    It's a nice little madness ditty, but for a change I'd suggest a passive approach whereby the object of your devotions might have a chance to prove itself unencumbered by crass and self indulgent metabolistic excursions into any envisioned dark realms of which we ideally know nothing. This is perfected in that which is called ego-death. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_death which has the added benefit of purveying a fault free conscience, having lateraled the ball (as it were) into the hands of an assumed star player in the cosmic scheme of things (aside from yourself of course).

    | Posted on 2011-12-11 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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