[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Thresholddots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 306
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We live the darkness bled from dream.
    Veins of lightning
    sear haunted eyes.
    Continuous rolls of thunder grate
    like boulders crunching bone.
    Sheets of black devour the dead earth.
    Slime-rot rolls off the bloated beast
    that some call:
    "The City."
    The souls of countless corpses
    wash into the bottomless void.

    The sun claws its way
    out of a black nightmare
    branding the sky a hellish hue
    in sizzling iron.
    The same glow as the lake of fire
    mingled with Eros's lust incanted.

    The threshold of nevermore
    is crossed in inertia.
    While madness pounds a pulsing drum.
    We burn.

    Submitted on 2011-12-10 04:04:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like that you pair your poems with pictures, for me the photo helps to set the tone- and certainly does a bang up job here. This one is haunting and reminds me of the riots in the nineties in LA and elsewhere. Of course, this same thing is happening everywhere tthese days and is quite unsettling.

    Threshold as a title says a great deal, and the poem itself just makes me feel charred as though I'm wading through the wreckage.

    While madness pounds a pulsing drum.
    We burn.

    | Posted on 2012-08-17 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      Several keeper phrases here, much depth (no pun). Yours is a treasure of symbological genius I suspect much of which is lost on the shallow end of the pool. Good choice of title also, I like that "threshold of nevermore" which I'd also appreciate as the threshold of evermore. Very nice work.
    | Posted on 2011-12-11 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]