[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Thresholddots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 322
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We live the darkness bled from dream.
    Veins of lightning
    sear haunted eyes.
    Continuous rolls of thunder grate
    like boulders crunching bone.
    Sheets of black devour the dead earth.
    Slime-rot rolls off the bloated beast
    that some call:
    "The City."
    The souls of countless corpses
    wash into the bottomless void.

    The sun claws its way
    out of a black nightmare
    branding the sky a hellish hue
    in sizzling iron.
    The same glow as the lake of fire
    mingled with Eros's lust incanted.

    The threshold of nevermore
    is crossed in inertia.
    While madness pounds a pulsing drum.
    We burn.

    Submitted on 2011-12-10 04:04:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like that you pair your poems with pictures, for me the photo helps to set the tone- and certainly does a bang up job here. This one is haunting and reminds me of the riots in the nineties in LA and elsewhere. Of course, this same thing is happening everywhere tthese days and is quite unsettling.

    Threshold as a title says a great deal, and the poem itself just makes me feel charred as though I'm wading through the wreckage.

    While madness pounds a pulsing drum.
    We burn.

    | Posted on 2012-08-17 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      Several keeper phrases here, much depth (no pun). Yours is a treasure of symbological genius I suspect much of which is lost on the shallow end of the pool. Good choice of title also, I like that "threshold of nevermore" which I'd also appreciate as the threshold of evermore. Very nice work.
    | Posted on 2011-12-11 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Etiquette written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Every..... written by jackz
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]