Description: incredibly loaded. I'll spare you guys the unpacking of it though.
I. The great pandemonium -------------------------------------------
I. The great pandemonium
as an adolescent being, rationality always bore
within it the seedlings of irrationality -
And maybe brother is insane
but I am supposed to be rational.
the seed was planted when I met romanticism
on a date, for the very first time in grade ten.
my reason was perhaps at its strongest then
and my friend couldn't handle my criticism.
the thing is, nor could I.
it wasn't until recently that I realized
I can let go of reason - and even more recently
that I realized letting go of reason is an illusion,
it really made and makes no difference.
Nice. And what is it we have discovered about the adolescent brain recently? It's all part of the game, going through periods of over-analyzing every little thing that comes up. It's a feeder for evolution, wrought by the fairies, angels and demons you never quite see. But I'm your brother, so to speak. As are we all.
Letting go or not letting go, quite right. The closing stanza is quite a spark. It makes no difference. Always remember and never forget:
There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits.
— Opening narration – The Control Voice – 1960s
Reason? You mean I'm supposed to think/not think about what I write, paint, draw, sculpt, and sing? No wonder i never won the essay contest!
Oh, no! This must also mean what the audience thinks of my work doesn't matter either! What an amazing epiphany! Do you mean I can craft something that is meaningful in its own right and accept or reject critique as it pleases me while absorbing the finer points of others?
It takes the rational mind some time to realize that rational relativity is basically a state of pandemonium . Plausibilities cause (or as we used to say in the boy scouts , be prepared ) leads almost inevitably to this conclusion . Further this form of relative rationality is basically an illusion for the answers can't be known .
When I discovered women I discovered a whole new form of relative rationality , and though my relatively rational mind wanted to argue the point I could discover no escape from the pandemonium it actually expressed .
On the other hand I seriously argue your final point here . How can it make no difference to have come to these epiphanies . To suddenly feel the need for a whole new form of attitude problem . Something to justify or perhaps feign sane on the train lane of this whole new seemingly rational irrationality .