(No Spam mail)
5.91 - 80/100/94
No vote yet.
and the chill has set in on mine,
crisp mornings bite bone-branches bare
consuming all life and colour.
All that is left is flashes of paint
spiralling downwards to gray stones,
where the shoes of my children will carry me.
Submitted on 2011-12-13 21:15:31
Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Rate This Submission
2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
wow...and as our children grow older it makes us feel more and more in the autumn of our life...
and then we start feeling that chill of the end...
and the imagery here is amazing...they will be carrying my body...to gray stones...the shoes of the children..
reminds me of the movie "ordinary People"
when donald sutherland said to mary tyler moore..."we were burying our son, and you were worried about what shoes i was wearing"
but then we hope to have our children bury us rather than the other way around.
anyway...really expressive write...moodful imagery.
| Posted on 2011-12-13 00:00:00 | by
Reply to This
Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Are not cheap (working title)
Alone in the Crowd
Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final)
World I No Longer Want
PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary...
Blood Stains Are The Worst
4th Season of Vivaldi
Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4)
4th of July
the living moment
Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6)
Physician, Heal Thyself
Enter your search terms
Submit search form
January 10 07
I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my
[ Smaller ]
[ Bigger ]