Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 316



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wait, what was it you said?
    Oh yes, I remember now,
    "Loving you is too hard."
    But did that mean
    you don't love me anymore
    or that
    you love me more than you can bear?
    I know the answer is here somewhere
    in this long kiss
    goodbye.




    Submitted on 2011-12-14 17:15:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a long goodbye kiss is often never a goodbye. at least in my experience. the playfulness, yet, soberness with which you write is quite well. its almost the heart is half full thing...the last line is vital to the structure. it makes the reader question the relationship, the write and the kiss. why such a lingering kiss goodbye? why not just a so long and thats it? the kiss is a hint that feelings are still there and they are tangled.


    at least thats my 2 pence! overall, great job!

    -john-paul
    | Posted on 2012-01-05 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that it's a goodbye kiss kind of gives it away. although it feels like the person on the other side isn't quite aware. ( i guess i'm taking it to mean forever goodbye. as opposed to i'll see you later ) it's all tone and inflection though which makes this very confusing to me. i suppose it could be both because a person can love another in a way that is impossible to bear although stop loving them in another. sort of keeping the love but making it impractical in the eyes of said person.
    | Posted on 2011-12-18 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the glass if half empty half full sentiment in 'loving you is too hard'. on one hand, love should be natural and free flowing, on the other it takes a lot of hard work. i come to realize that it truly is a lot of hard work and its the best kind for its reward is something precious and pure. money cannot buy that kind of thing (i think the beatles said something like that once). have a great day janeplane!
    | Posted on 2011-12-16 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how the question is not answered, but rather a solution is given. A place where the answer can be found: in a kiss goodbye.

    This long kiss goodbye. Goodbyes last way longer than just two syllables. They're a process of murmurs and restless nights. That's how goodbyes happen...slowly...painfully. Sometimes one person is left standing there holding little pieces of something that used to be whole.

    It's hard to believe that someone could leave you because they loved you too much. It sounds like a $10 excuse. But then again, some people can never bear the truth.
    | Posted on 2011-12-15 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I never got that last kiss goodbye. It killed me at first, but then I thought: maybe she was afraid that she might feel something...just maybe.

    Either way, goodbye is goodbye. But I guess it all comes back to the art of breaking hearts.

    I'll be back here...

    I'm not done with this poem

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-12-15 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the brevity of this...and the sentiment...somehow i started thinking of samuel l. jackson and gena davis....

    sometimes the kisses goodbye are longer than the ones while we are together...

    or is it that the person spoken to is telling us that we are just too complicated....?????


    interesting questions posed...by this little piece.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I think so few of us will ever know what it's like to love someone more than we can bear.....but what exquisite pain that must be....

    I love the suggestion that the answer to your question lies within the kiss....because a kiss really does say so much without words....it's the best way to speak with our mouths....

    Great write, Jane!

    ~rubie
    | Posted on 2011-12-14 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193617

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The World written by jjd
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry