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    dots Submission Name: Slipknotdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 670


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    I hefted the weight
    of waiting
    I pushed up and out
    and through the dark

    Beneath black earth
    wet, teeming with
    those crawling

    and beneath no sky
    under no sun
    I saw her

    or Raven
    or Jane

    Dead and I'd killed her
    with my might
    my fear
    my shame
    my desperation

    I'd buried her
    black as silence
    dark as the cave
    cold as the tiny pebble
    she was

    and now she is not

    and I've come untied

    Submitted on 2011-12-16 04:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      -I'd buried her
    -black as silence
    -dark as a cave
    -cold as the tiny pebble
    -she was
    -and now she is not
    -and I've come untied

    Its as if you want the old you gone from what I've read. Very real and malocholic , the emotion in this piece speaks loud and clear.

    | Posted on 2011-12-18 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful and evocative. i liked the thoughts being twisted off short and the lines moving around to cinch in central theme. slip knot ...slip not! it tied togehter very well. cudos. thank you..Koster
    | Posted on 2011-12-18 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm apparently stuck on a mono-meme on ego-death as I see it pop up (hah!) a lot lately. Maybe it ties in with the end of the year/Winter solstice death dying atmosphere?

    I appreciate that you list three names/entities in your identity circle. Fear, shame, and desperation? Shame on you for that (blue mirth). Come Mardi Gras can we make a transition into fearless, shameless, and satiation? But why wait except out of a sense of tradition? Whine or wine? "Do this in remembrance of Me". I'd go with the wine.

    Dare I also admit that between the titles Kiss and Slip Knot you steer me towards music? A little Slipknot on the boom box might be just the thing.

    Obviously I like your style.
    | Posted on 2011-12-16 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      premature buriel...i did this to my heart...i gave up on love...that self of mine was under the earth...and yet , came alive and clawed its way out of the hole....through the dark pain i pushed until i got through...and then someone untied my emotions...the knot undone...i was undone...but in a good way.

    i really like the ending..."untied" that could be a good way to be...sometimes we knot ourselves up so tight we are unable to feel...but if we let go and dig out of that state of emotional death...we find there is still something or someone to live for.
    it's easier sometimes to kill that self altogether and bury it, then risk more pain.


    | Posted on 2011-12-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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