[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Quiet Riotdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 474

       Okay, now I'm just being silly. Except I'm not. I wrote "Kiss" without thinking of the band at all. Then with "Slipknot", I noticed but still not about Kiss until someone pointed it out. These are not bands I listen to. Anyway, I just figured I'd keep with the "theme" a bit. "Rock" band names are fun for inspiration.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsQuiet Riotdots

    Quiet Riot

    I hear the silence
    it plays like lips brushing
    against helix

    the sun dazzles the
    spots of green still holding
    and the wood-brown and the
    carolina blue


    if you listen you can hear it

    it rises up
    thumping at the chest
    like mad bears
    like angry children
    like a heartbeat
    falling from a cliff

    Submitted on 2011-12-19 09:55:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Jane, for being silly, you put some nice lines together. I didn't know at first that it is about bands because I read the description after. I'm so dated on music that I don't know the names. I took the first lines to be about lips brushing on the helix of the ear, which I found not only a nice feeling but also fitting with the hearing theme. Then I found myself in a forest getting quiet as forest sounds rise. The quiet riot? I like the imagery I got without knowing its about bands. Works for me. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-12-20 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i couldn't have told you this was all band names, lol. except for quiet riot. sounds like a panic attack. not fun. not fun at all.
    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, you are being a little silly, but that is the nature of creativity, it's where you find it. You could at least use the bands you do listen to. I could consider ripping off song titles to do something with, there are so many good ones.
    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      especially like the last stanza....really nice images in this poem...could apply to several emotions as well as just painting a scene....and soon, i am on my way to carolina blue...leaving today or tomorrow.

    i like the repetition of "like"

    creates a beat poem's rhythm so nicely.

    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]