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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Quiet Riotdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 419/434/131
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 294
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 474



    Description:
       Okay, now I'm just being silly. Except I'm not. I wrote "Kiss" without thinking of the band at all. Then with "Slipknot", I noticed but still not about Kiss until someone pointed it out. These are not bands I listen to. Anyway, I just figured I'd keep with the "theme" a bit. "Rock" band names are fun for inspiration.


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    dotsQuiet Riotdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Quiet Riot

    I hear the silence
    it plays like lips brushing
    against helix

    the sun dazzles the
    spots of green still holding
    and the wood-brown and the
    carolina blue

    shhh

    if you listen you can hear it

    ignored
    it rises up
    thumping at the chest
    like mad bears
    like angry children
    like a heartbeat
    falling from a cliff




    Submitted on 2011-12-19 09:55:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Jane, for being silly, you put some nice lines together. I didn't know at first that it is about bands because I read the description after. I'm so dated on music that I don't know the names. I took the first lines to be about lips brushing on the helix of the ear, which I found not only a nice feeling but also fitting with the hearing theme. Then I found myself in a forest getting quiet as forest sounds rise. The quiet riot? I like the imagery I got without knowing its about bands. Works for me. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-12-20 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i couldn't have told you this was all band names, lol. except for quiet riot. sounds like a panic attack. not fun. not fun at all.
    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, you are being a little silly, but that is the nature of creativity, it's where you find it. You could at least use the bands you do listen to. I could consider ripping off song titles to do something with, there are so many good ones.
    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      especially like the last stanza....really nice images in this poem...could apply to several emotions as well as just painting a scene....and soon, i am on my way to carolina blue...leaving today or tomorrow.


    i like the repetition of "like"

    creates a beat poem's rhythm so nicely.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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