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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Their Fallingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 392
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 802



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTheir Fallingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Their Falling

    when it rains in winter
    I think of so many clichés
    about the world pressing down on me;
    the grey of the sky,
    the darkness inside.
    but the drops, they come down so perfectly
    like nothing could ever be wrong
    from their falling.
    and even the muted sun
    makes water glitter on my window
    while beads of it travel down
    to join other beads.

    and it makes me see
    past clichés and past the sky
    and even past the rain itself
    and into something I can't yet describe.

    hope
    no.
    that's the biggest clichés of all.

    it's something more tangible, more visceral.
    something more like breathing.





    Submitted on 2011-12-21 12:40:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it's hard as a poet.(be that the word we use to describe our predetermined states of mind or be it something more along the lines of what it's presented as in the dictionary.) we often live in states of ideation. concepts of our world mix with the outer world and it can be confusing when these relationships become conversational. when does a rainy day trigger depressing memories, or vica versa. what if the color blue makes people sad. it's good to be visceral and keep those grounds regardless. the rain falling can be flat and simple. the sensation is enjoyable. life doesn't always need these webs. sometimes it is what it is. and that's it.
    | Posted on 2012-02-06 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi never met in the past 125 years though time runs like water always taking the course of the least resistance. Maybe we could try that more often.
    I like like the poem and thanks its opens rather sweet memories of living waters received and enjoyed. Always seeking the Water of Everlasting life in Blessedness and Bliss.

    Blue Monk always intrigues me with the supernatural exploits like crying. With me seeing the auras of everything my type of crying.

    Glad I met you.

    Regards joachim
    | Posted on 2012-01-09 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      Like being alive, this piece gave me chills. I have seen many pieces using rain to descibe at the very least FEELING, and I see that in this piece but you touch on something more...as your conclusion states.

    The second stanza I simply found well worded, beautiful.

    The sound of the muted sun, drops of rain gently pattering on the earth.

    I think this is a deep piece, I felt it in a spiritual way.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice... did you know that they have detected imprinted DNA waves in water being generated by simple life forms? So perhaps the rain carries a little spark of what life gives, perhaps received as a trade for the fact that only water gives life? At least as far as science is concerned at this point.

    Do you know what scrying is? From Wiki: Scrying (also called seeing or peeping) is a magic practice that involves seeing things psychically in a medium, usually for purposes of obtaining spiritual visions and less often for purposes of divination or fortune-telling. The most common media used are reflective, translucent, or luminescent substances such as crystals, stones, glass, mirrors, water, fire, or smoke. Scrying has been used in many cultures as a means of divining the past, present, or future. Depending on the culture and practice, the visions that come when one stares into the media are thought to come from God, spirits, the psychic mind, the devil, or the subconscious.

    I seem to recall that Nostradamus used a bowl of water to scry with. Anyway, after the report on the DNA waves there was a lot of magical types saying something to the effect of, "I told you so" but I don't think any have become lottery winners as a result. Still, rain, water, life force(s) make for good imagery such as the rain breathing. Thank you.
    | Posted on 2011-12-22 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      it makes me realize i am glad to exist...all the clichs aside...i have a better one..."it's good just to be alive"

    but that is important...and we often forget that...we get buried in our troubles like a deep snowfall...and we feel cold, frozen---like our sun has forever disappeared...

    but really--when we look past all the hard stuff...we are breathing aren't we.

    yes, hope would be too clich....we always think like scarlett.."after all tomorrow is another day"

    but today is worth living too, we always think the grass will be greener...

    oh well...all i am saying in too many words is that i really like the poem...and love the way you ended it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn autocorrect. That should say "Your last few poems" not "your lady few poems"
    | Posted on 2011-12-21 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful imagery! I felt like I was staring out the window with my hand pressed against the glass. I know that gesture is kind of clich lol

    But I know those seasonal clichs; they're inherent in all of us and I guess that's why they're clichs.
    The dreary grey sky, the muted sun, the winter rain.
    And it's so easy to play into them and write a quick poem about the throes of another dreaded winter-
    but their falling (and I love how you set this up) helps you to see past the clichs, and write about something a little more...hopeful. But not hope because it's the biggest clich of all. Ah! Fantastic stuff.

    Something more like breathing

    That killed me!

    Great stuff, Jane. Your lady few poems really weren't doing much for me, but this one hit the spot!

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-12-21 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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