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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drkpoet
    ASL Info:    21/m/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    3.04 - 442/527/94
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 420
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 969



    Description:
       Just some thoughts, something that war and peace has put into my mind...

    **War does not determine who is right... but who is left**


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her death led me to see,
    led to become free.
    Set my goals to the highest waves,
    and explore the deepest caves.

    Her death led me to see,
    how, with her help, i could be free.
    She was the answer
    she was my key.

    Violence is spread worldwide
    ever since the day she died.
    Her name we claim to have
    but only call upon it when we have been bad.

    In troubled times her name rings,
    and death is what it tends to bring.
    Freedom is the word.
    claiming to soar higher then a bird.

    Freedom brings war,
    and to win in war,
    we must score.
    even if its your life that the government must bor.

    Freedom now has a different meaning
    in order to reach complete freedom
    lives must go, and you must take a beating.
    but answer me this question, what is it that we have done?

    DrkPoet




    Submitted on 2004-07-31 20:31:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like how you ended it in a question. My only problem with this is that the rhyming seems a bit off in some places... like "have" with "bad".. but the idea of this piece is good. It's very modern and it made me really think... it made me really feel some emotions...

    Nice piece.
    Brooke
    | Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really eerie. Don't get me wrong, I liked it a lot. it was just creepy to read about. You created good imagery in my mind. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked this. and i like your point of view. this was a really good write from my point of view. great job and keep them comeing lia
    | Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]



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